Wotkomvab is a god.

It takes the form of an exceedingly fat, dishonest fly.

Wotkomvab created everything that exists eight billion years ago.

If you believe in Wotkomvab, it will approve.

If you do not believe in Wotkomvab, it will make you grow a tail.

Wotkomvab's most sacred site is Quenstedt in Germany.

Wotkomvab's Holy Commandments

1. Feed all hungry shrews.

2. Do not jump in public.

3. Respect your elders.

4. Always make sure there are no gulls in a building before entering it.

5. Never feed cherries to dolphins while wearing turquoise boots.