Quimjonstrag is a god.

It takes the form of a galaxy-sized, awe-inspiring walrus.

Quimjonstrag created the Cigar Galaxy eight quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Quimjonstrag, it will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Quimjonstrag, it will attempt to scare you with floods.

Quimjonstrag's most sacred site is Avebury Stone Circle in England.

Quimjonstrag's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink water in blue rooms.

2. Do not take Quimjonstrag's name in vain.

3. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

4. Never feed grapes to geese while wearing green rings.

5. Do not hurt gulls.