Tiknellfen is a god.

He takes the form of a heavy, charitable squirrel.

Tiknellfen created parasitic wasps four quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Tiknellfen, he will celebrate by creating some universes.

If you do not believe in Tiknellfen, he will hide angry, venomous snakes in your dwelling place.

Tiknellfen's most sacred site is Cobbel in Germany.

Tiknellfen's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about horizontal gene transfer.

2. Always help tapirs.

3. Never hurt geese.

4. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

5. Erect a large iron sculpture of Tiknellfen on top of all buildings.