Timligbell Lapwikart is a god.

It takes the form of a plump, merciless badger.

Timligbell Lapwikart created the world two billion years ago.

If you believe in Timligbell Lapwikart, it will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Timligbell Lapwikart, it will curse you and those you beget for all time.

Timligbell Lapwikart's most sacred site is Neravy in India.

Timligbell Lapwikart's Holy Commandments

1. Pray towards the south.

2. Never wear gray kilts.

3. Do not take Timligbell Lapwikart's name in vain.

4. Always make a point of helping unfortunate ducks.

5. Never feed strawberries to sheep while wearing black boots.