Kembeddon is a god.

It takes the form of a fat, tiresome porpoise.

Kembeddon created the Sombrero Galaxy four trillion years ago.

If you believe in Kembeddon, it will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Kembeddon, it will make you grow a tail.

Kembeddon's most sacred site is Quenstedt in Germany.

Kembeddon's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink from vessels made of aluminium.

2. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

3. Run away from violet snails, for they are unholy.

4. Never look in ponds.

5. Never think about the strong nuclear force.