Guttonkmig is a god.

She takes the form of a thin, stupid frog.

Guttonkmig created an atom three hundred thousand years ago.

If you believe in Guttonkmig, she will give you the power of flight.

If you do not believe in Guttonkmig, she will turn you into a tree.

Guttonkmig's most sacred site is Manamedu in India.

Guttonkmig's Holy Commandments

1. Do not shave your face.

2. Never talk about evolution by means of natural selection.

3. Never mention whales.

4. Respect your elders.

5. Always pray immersed in water.