Arfgedappbaghatort is a god.

It takes the form of an enormous, thoughtless mole.

Arfgedappbaghatort created humanity five trillion years ago.

If you believe in Arfgedappbaghatort, it will celebrate by creating some galaxies.

If you do not believe in Arfgedappbaghatort, it will turn you into a dog.

Arfgedappbaghatort's most sacred site is Leswalt in Scotland.

Arfgedappbaghatort's Holy Commandments

1. Do not shave your neck.

2. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

3. Always wear green.

4. Do not stand on grass.

5. Never write about horizontal gene transfer.