Teenvabripyartvogkanlarn Bettandog is a god.

It takes the form of a microscopic, clever dugong.

Teenvabripyartvogkanlarn Bettandog created parasitic wasps two million years ago.

If you believe in Teenvabripyartvogkanlarn Bettandog, it will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Teenvabripyartvogkanlarn Bettandog, it will come to you in dreams.

Teenvabripyartvogkanlarn Bettandog's most sacred site is Olmarch in Wales.

Teenvabripyartvogkanlarn Bettandog's Holy Commandments

1. Teenvabripyartvogkanlarn Bettandog must be the most important thing in your life.

2. Never write about the strong nuclear force.

3. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

4. Do not drink alcohol.

5. Never talk about the weak nuclear force.