Damarmarf is a god.

She takes the form of a gargantuan, omniscient fly.

Damarmarf created Africa eight million years ago.

If you believe in Damarmarf, she will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Damarmarf, she will turn you into a duck.

Damarmarf's most sacred site is Rutalahti in Finland.

Damarmarf's Holy Commandments

1. Never sing in holy places.

2. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

3. Always obey Damarmarf's priests.

4. Do not eat cherries.

5. Always stare at clouds.