Bampitpad is a god.

He takes the form of a corpulent, slow goblin.

Bampitpad created a strange quark five trillion years ago.

If you believe in Bampitpad, he will give you great power.

If you do not believe in Bampitpad, he will think nothing of it.

Bampitpad's most sacred site is Khwee in Botswana.

Bampitpad's Holy Commandments

1. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

2. Feed all hungry doves.

3. Never think about planets.

4. Run away from violet eagles, for they are unholy.

5. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.