Febgeptun Tipbarncit Butlegfom is a god.

She takes the form of a gargantuan, loving weasel.

Febgeptun Tipbarncit Butlegfom created the universe eight billion years ago.

If you believe in Febgeptun Tipbarncit Butlegfom, she will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Febgeptun Tipbarncit Butlegfom, she will destroy your home galaxy.

Febgeptun Tipbarncit Butlegfom's most sacred site is Brechfa in Wales.

Febgeptun Tipbarncit Butlegfom's Holy Commandments

1. Never look at stars.

2. Febgeptun Tipbarncit Butlegfom must be the most important thing in your life.

3. Do not wear platinum on your body.

4. Erect six iron sculptures of Febgeptun Tipbarncit Butlegfom on top of important buildings.

5. Hide from cyan horses for they are unholy.