Jonnel is a god.

He takes the form of an enormous, two-faced snake.

Jonnel created a bottom quark eight billion years ago.

If you believe in Jonnel, he will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Jonnel, he will curse you and those you beget for fifty two trillion years.

Jonnel's most sacred site is Corsock in Scotland.

Jonnel's Holy Commandments

1. Do not listen to music.

2. Always help sick eagles.

3. Never run near dogs.

4. You must never eat grapes.

5. Never think about the weak nuclear force.