Mutfitcet is a god.

It takes the form of a minute, selfish pigeon.

Mutfitcet created a Higgs boson four years ago.

If you believe in Mutfitcet, it will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Mutfitcet, it will turn you into an amoeba.

Mutfitcet's most sacred site is Snipp in Sweden.

Mutfitcet's Holy Commandments

1. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Mutfitcet.

2. Always stare at clouds.

3. Do not shave your neck.

4. Never bounce in holy places.

5. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.