Vogwodcun is a god.

He takes the form of an exceedingly fat, generous fish.

Vogwodcun created parasitic wasps three trillion years ago.

If you believe in Vogwodcun, he will give you the power of flight.

If you do not believe in Vogwodcun, he will send you a sign.

Vogwodcun's most sacred site is Crugybar in Wales.

Vogwodcun's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

2. Always stare at clouds.

3. Run away if eight dolphins approach from the east.

4. Do not eat nuts.

5. Never write about the strong nuclear force.