Appsascimcam is a god.

She takes the form of a six hundred metre long, dishonest gnu.

Appsascimcam created oxygen three billion years ago.

If you believe in Appsascimcam, she will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Appsascimcam, she will send four elderly elephants to rub you out.

Appsascimcam's most sacred site is Sanabo in Egypt.

Appsascimcam's Holy Commandments

1. Always make sure there are no bats in a room before entering it.

2. Never look at asteroids.

3. Feed all hungry mites.

4. Always take life seriously.

5. Retreat if seven cats approach from the south.