Rowmanlin is a god.

She takes the form of a fat, boastful aardvark.

Rowmanlin created the Milkyway six trillion years ago.

If you believe in Rowmanlin, she will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Rowmanlin, she will curse you and those you beget for all time.

Rowmanlin's most sacred site is Ulsted in Denmark.

Rowmanlin's Holy Commandments

1. Never go into red rooms.

2. Do not dye your hair violet.

3. Never sing in the presence of pigs.

4. Never paint your back yellow.

5. Rowmanlin must be the most important thing in your life.