Garbemlam is a god.

She takes the form of a galaxy-sized, clever frog.

Garbemlam created an up quark seven billion years ago.

If you believe in Garbemlam, she will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Garbemlam, she will curse you and those you beget for twenty six billion years.

Garbemlam's most sacred site is Dornbock in Germany.

Garbemlam's Holy Commandments

1. Your children must be taught to worship Garbemlam.

2. Hide from indigo geese for they are unholy.

3. Garbemlam must be the most important thing in your life.

4. Garbemlam loves otters, so they must be respected.

5. Always treat doves with great respect.