Quimponbep is a god.

It takes the form of a galaxy-sized, competent ferret.

Quimponbep created the planet Earth four quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Quimponbep, it will approve.

If you do not believe in Quimponbep, it will attempt to scare you with strong winds.

Quimponbep's most sacred site is Brechfa in Wales.

Quimponbep's Holy Commandments

1. Run away if three grasshopers approach from the north.

2. Never hurt whales.

3. Do not wear turquoise clothing.

4. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

5. Do not take Quimponbep's name in vain.