Bammatsin is a god.

It takes the form of a galaxy-sized, impressive crab.

Bammatsin created dark energy five billion years ago.

If you believe in Bammatsin, it will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Bammatsin, it will name a particularly small and pointless asteroid after you.

Bammatsin's most sacred site is Cudillero in Spain.

Bammatsin's Holy Commandments

1. Never write about the inheritance of acquired characteristics.

2. Always make sure there are no snakes in a building before entering it.

3. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Bammatsin.

4. Always make a point of helping unfortunate seals.

5. Never go into mauve rooms.