Bepyarlpib is a god.

It takes the form of a thin, flying mole.

Bepyarlpib created the Small Magellanic Cloud six trillion years ago.

If you believe in Bepyarlpib, it will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Bepyarlpib, it will turn you into a sparrow.

Bepyarlpib's most sacred site is Meidrim in Wales.

Bepyarlpib's Holy Commandments

1. Do not eat rice.

2. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

3. Never eat wheat.

4. Always pray in complete darkness.

5. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.