Bimtanbag is a god.

He takes the form of a three hundred metre long, selfish squid.

Bimtanbag created humanity six quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Bimtanbag, he will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Bimtanbag, he will send twenty eight swans to peck you to death.

Bimtanbag's most sacred site is Kottucherry in India.

Bimtanbag's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about asteroids.

2. Whales are unholy and should not be approached.

3. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

4. Show mercy to disobedient children.

5. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.