Dimfud is a god.

He takes the form of a chunky, compassionate grasshopper.

Dimfud created parasitic wasps eight million years ago.

If you believe in Dimfud, he will not care.

If you do not believe in Dimfud, he will turn you into a blue tit.

Dimfud's most sacred site is Hetta in Finland.

Dimfud's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about fire.

2. Hide if three sheep approach from the west.

3. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Dimfud.

4. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

5. Never write about moons.