Hastinarp is a god.

It takes the form of a nine hundred metre long, caring wyrm.

Hastinarp created the planet Earth eight billion years ago.

If you believe in Hastinarp, it will grant you immortality.

If you do not believe in Hastinarp, it will sneak up behind you and tap you on the back.

Hastinarp's most sacred site is Farnetta in Italy.

Hastinarp's Holy Commandments

1. Never eat bark.

2. Do not shave your feet.

3. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

4. Do not trade with those who eat oranges.

5. Hastinarp must be the most important thing in your life.