Cumomtquaf Higstanceddinbig is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely heavy, sage chicken.

Cumomtquaf Higstanceddinbig created tapeworms four quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Cumomtquaf Higstanceddinbig, she will look after your home planet.

If you do not believe in Cumomtquaf Higstanceddinbig, she will manifest in front of you.

Cumomtquaf Higstanceddinbig's most sacred site is Kauvatsa in Finland.

Cumomtquaf Higstanceddinbig's Holy Commandments

1. Never sing in the presence of swans.

2. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

3. Never play with disobedient children.

4. Do not make images of living things.

5. Do not chop down trees.