Bonkadcid is a god.

He takes the form of a seven hundred metre long, competent gerbil.

Bonkadcid created the planet Saturn two trillion years ago.

If you believe in Bonkadcid, he will look after your home planet.

If you do not believe in Bonkadcid, he will turn you into a dog.

Bonkadcid's most sacred site is Mmankgodi in Botswana.

Bonkadcid's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about gravity.

2. You must never eat lemons.

3. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

4. Never look in ponds.

5. Do not kill snails.