Watvonpad is a god.

He takes the form of a four thousand metre long, able shrew.

Watvonpad created the Small Magellanic Cloud four trillion years ago.

If you believe in Watvonpad, he will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Watvonpad, he will turn you into a mole.

Watvonpad's most sacred site is Krina in Germany.

Watvonpad's Holy Commandments

1. You must love Watvonpad.

2. Never sing near doves.

3. Never eat green fruit.

4. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

5. Always help sick eagles.