Fatzantapspag is a god.

It takes the form of a chunky, smart chicken.

Fatzantapspag created light nine million years ago.

If you believe in Fatzantapspag, it will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Fatzantapspag, it will attempt to scare you with lightening.

Fatzantapspag's most sacred site is Ylike in Finland.

Fatzantapspag's Holy Commandments

1. Worship no other gods but Fatzantapspag.

2. Always look after injured voles.

3. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

4. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

5. Never feed oranges to snakes while wearing purple tights.