Pibjonkimcen is a god.

He takes the form of a seven hundred metre long, fussy donkey.

Pibjonkimcen created tapeworms four quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Pibjonkimcen, he will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Pibjonkimcen, he will jump up and down fuming with anger.

Pibjonkimcen's most sacred site is Glastonbury Tor in England.

Pibjonkimcen's Holy Commandments

1. Never eat beans.

2. Never eat bark.

3. Never feed cucumbers to ants while wearing green shorts.

4. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

5. Do not covet oxen.