Citlitbad is a god.

He takes the form of a massive, awe-inspiring jaguar.

Citlitbad created humanity nine quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Citlitbad, he will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Citlitbad, he will ignore you.

Citlitbad's most sacred site is Úbeda in Spain.

Citlitbad's Holy Commandments

1. Do not shave your back.

2. Never pour water over plants.

3. Retreat if three mites approach from the north.

4. Always help manatees in need.

5. Never eat bark.