Vagyarzak is a god.

She takes the form of a five hundred metre long, stupid mouse.

Vagyarzak created Asia seven quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Vagyarzak, she will grant you three wishes.

If you do not believe in Vagyarzak, she will jump up and down fuming with anger.

Vagyarzak's most sacred site is Hondarribia in Spain.

Vagyarzak's Holy Commandments

1. Do not cook food in pots.

2. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

3. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Vagyarzak.

4. Run away if five porpoises approach from the north.

5. Erect a large carbon sculpture of Vagyarzak on top of all buildings.