Cimruttzog is a god.

She takes the form of a nine thousand metre long, vain newt.

Cimruttzog created a charm quark two quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Cimruttzog, she will celebrate by creating some universes.

If you do not believe in Cimruttzog, she will not care.

Cimruttzog's most sacred site is Meidrim in Wales.

Cimruttzog's Holy Commandments

1. Hide from indigo goats for they are unholy.

2. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

3. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

4. Do not speak about rice.

5. Always pray in complete darkness.