Flapsatmit is a god.

He takes the form of a heavy, tranquil dove.

Flapsatmit created Asia two billion years ago.

If you believe in Flapsatmit, he will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Flapsatmit, he will destroy your favourite dwarf planet.

Flapsatmit's most sacred site is Dommerby in Denmark.

Flapsatmit's Holy Commandments

1. Never mention sheep.

2. Run away if six birds approach from the north.

3. Always treat dolphins with great respect.

4. Always help monkeys in need.

5. Flapsatmit loves sharks, so they must be respected.