Yattdinlab is a god.

He takes the form of a five hundred metre long, irritating tapir.

Yattdinlab created vertebrates eight billion years ago.

If you believe in Yattdinlab, he will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Yattdinlab, he will turn you into a tree.

Yattdinlab's most sacred site is Cudillero in Spain.

Yattdinlab's Holy Commandments

1. Erect a large silver sculpture of Yattdinlab on top of all buildings.

2. Never write about the inheritance of acquired characteristics.

3. Do not fashion models of living things.

4. Never go into turquoise rooms.

5. Hide from cyan tapirs for they are unholy.