Fudfutfon is a god.

She takes the form of a galaxy-sized, emotional finch.

Fudfutfon created viruses five trillion years ago.

If you believe in Fudfutfon, she will be surprised.

If you do not believe in Fudfutfon, she will send four elephants to rub you out.

Fudfutfon's most sacred site is Dzhanka in Bulgaria.

Fudfutfon's Holy Commandments

1. Do not eat turnips.

2. Always help tapirs.

3. Do not chop down trees.

4. Do not cook food in pots.

5. Never laugh near eagles.