Jarnhastim Tipyog is a god.

It takes the form of an exceedingly fat, calm sheep.

Jarnhastim Tipyog created an up quark five quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Jarnhastim Tipyog, it will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Jarnhastim Tipyog, it will be mildly annoyed.

Jarnhastim Tipyog's most sacred site is Hongcun in China.

Jarnhastim Tipyog's Holy Commandments

1. Never sit in holy places.

2. Never paint your chest indigo.

3. Never talk about turtles.

4. Pigs are unholy and should not be approached.

5. Always stare at clouds.