Teenkadhom is a god.

She takes the form of a slender, benevolent horse.

Teenkadhom created a bottom quark eight quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Teenkadhom, she will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Teenkadhom, she will send four elderly elephants to rub you out.

Teenkadhom's most sacred site is Dzhanka in Bulgaria.

Teenkadhom's Holy Commandments

1. Teenkadhom must be the most important thing in your life.

2. Teenkadhom loves hamsters, so they must be honoured.

3. Never write about horizontal gene transfer.

4. Do not drink water in red rooms.

5. Never think about the weak nuclear force.