Tipmitdiss Cartonhun is a god.

He takes the form of a giant, merciless hamster.

Tipmitdiss Cartonhun created Mount Everest seven billion years ago.

If you believe in Tipmitdiss Cartonhun, he will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Tipmitdiss Cartonhun, he will turn you into a mouse.

Tipmitdiss Cartonhun's most sacred site is Glastonbury Tor in England.

Tipmitdiss Cartonhun's Holy Commandments

1. Hide if three whales approach from the east.

2. You must never eat lemons.

3. Never think about planets.

4. Always take life seriously.

5. Do not listen to music.