Veenyogtif is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely fat, ruthless snake.

Veenyogtif created the cosmos five quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Veenyogtif, he will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Veenyogtif, he will think nothing of it.

Veenyogtif's most sacred site is Cudillero in Spain.

Veenyogtif's Holy Commandments

1. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

2. Do not jump in public.

3. Show mercy to disobedient children.

4. Never mention dolphins.

5. Always treat squirrels with great respect.