Haplattan is a god.

She takes the form of a very long, uncaring otter.

Haplattan created the planet Jupiter eight million years ago.

If you believe in Haplattan, she will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Haplattan, she will cry a lot.

Haplattan's most sacred site is Gassin in France.

Haplattan's Holy Commandments

1. Do not commit murder.

2. Never talk about the weak nuclear force.

3. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

4. Never hurt badgers.

5. Always treat dogs with great respect.