Gandogkan is a god.

She takes the form of a six thousand metre long, impressive squid.

Gandogkan created carbon two million years ago.

If you believe in Gandogkan, she will not care.

If you do not believe in Gandogkan, she will curse you with boils.

Gandogkan's most sacred site is Makopong in Botswana.

Gandogkan's Holy Commandments

1. Fast once a month.

2. Gulls are unholy and should not be approached.

3. Never laugh in the presence of capybaras.

4. Erect nine copper sculptures of Gandogkan on top of important buildings.

5. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.