Botgatlun is a god.

He takes the form of a nine hundred metre long, sage tapir.

Botgatlun created a Higgs boson nine thousand years ago.

If you believe in Botgatlun, he will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Botgatlun, he will send twenty two thousand, three hundred, and seventy eight badgers to sort you out.

Botgatlun's most sacred site is Trujillo in Spain.

Botgatlun's Holy Commandments

1. Fast once a month.

2. Do not commit murder.

3. Always pray immersed in water.

4. Always make sure there are no manatees in a room before entering it.

5. Never feed apples to badgers while wearing brown kilts.