Flamtagquat is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely small, charitable elephant.

Flamtagquat created snails two quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Flamtagquat, she will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Flamtagquat, she will jump up and down fuming with rage.

Flamtagquat's most sacred site is Thethampakkam in India.

Flamtagquat's Holy Commandments

1. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

2. Fast once a month.

3. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

4. Never wear cyan trousers.

5. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.