Onttabnig is a god.

He takes the form of a five thousand metre long, proud otter.

Onttabnig created the Andromeda Galaxy three trillion years ago.

If you believe in Onttabnig, he will look on you favourably.

If you do not believe in Onttabnig, he will insist you be burnt at the stake.

Onttabnig's most sacred site is Skive in Denmark.

Onttabnig's Holy Commandments

1. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

2. You must love Onttabnig.

3. Never play with disobedient children.

4. Worship no other gods but Onttabnig.

5. Your children must be taught to worship Onttabnig.