Pakpibdiss is a god.

It takes the form of a galaxy-sized, moody mole.

Pakpibdiss created humanity two billion years ago.

If you believe in Pakpibdiss, it will approve.

If you do not believe in Pakpibdiss, it will ignore you and hope you go away.

Pakpibdiss' most sacred site is Kerris in England.

Pakpibdiss' Holy Commandments

1. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Pakpibdiss.

2. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Pakpibdiss.

3. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

4. Do not run in public.

5. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.