Quafvonkhugcip is a god.

It takes the form of a very heavy, fast lion.

Quafvonkhugcip created a top quark eight thousand years ago.

If you believe in Quafvonkhugcip, it will celebrate by creating some planets.

If you do not believe in Quafvonkhugcip, it will destroy your favourite planet.

Quafvonkhugcip's most sacred site is Denshawai in Egypt.

Quafvonkhugcip's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about the weak nuclear force.

2. Never think ill of sick turtles.

3. Always make a point of helping unfortunate ducks.

4. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

5. You must pray to Quafvonkhugcip four times a day.