Sadpangyim is a god.

He takes the form of a planet-sized, overgenerous pigeon.

Sadpangyim created an up quark five thousand years ago.

If you believe in Sadpangyim, he will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Sadpangyim, he will turn you into a puffin.

Sadpangyim's most sacred site is Valdena in Italy.

Sadpangyim's Holy Commandments

1. Worship no other gods but Sadpangyim.

2. Never feed figs to eagles while wearing pink trousers.

3. Erect a large silver sculpture of Sadpangyim on top of all buildings.

4. Never think about moons.

5. Always wear mauve.