Vidappbem is a god.

She takes the form of a minute, ill-tempered tortoise.

Vidappbem created the Andromeda Galaxy nine quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Vidappbem, she will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Vidappbem, she will not invite you to parties.

Vidappbem's most sacred site is Grimme in Germany.

Vidappbem's Holy Commandments

1. Never look at asteroids.

2. Never feed corn to sharks while wearing mauve scarves.

3. Do not trade with those who eat aubergines.

4. Never wear violet dresses.

5. Do not wear brown clothing.