Honcitrot is a god.

He takes the form of a planet-sized, competent dryad.

Honcitrot created a top quark three quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Honcitrot, he will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Honcitrot, he will try to impress you with rainbows.

Honcitrot's most sacred site is Daren in Wales.

Honcitrot's Holy Commandments

1. Do not hurt great tits.

2. Always pray in complete darkness.

3. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

4. Run away if eight voles approach from the south.

5. Put Honcitrot first in all things.