Bafflan is a god.

It takes the form of a massive, loving manatee.

Bafflan created a strange quark three trillion years ago.

If you believe in Bafflan, it will celebrate by creating some galaxies.

If you do not believe in Bafflan, it will turn you into a plant.

Bafflan's most sacred site is Hondarribia in Spain.

Bafflan's Holy Commandments

1. Walk at least four thousand metres per day.

2. Never pour water over plants.

3. Run away if eight badgers approach from the east.

4. Do not wear carbon on your body.

5. Bafflan loves snails, so they must be respected.