Gofquafgebbitfudbugnad is a god.

He takes the form of a massive, flying fox.

Gofquafgebbitfudbugnad created dark matter six million years ago.

If you believe in Gofquafgebbitfudbugnad, he will give you great power.

If you do not believe in Gofquafgebbitfudbugnad, he will destroy your home solar system.

Gofquafgebbitfudbugnad's most sacred site is Sarti in Greece.

Gofquafgebbitfudbugnad's Holy Commandments

1. Do not chop down trees.

2. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Gofquafgebbitfudbugnad.

3. Erect six silicon sculptures of Gofquafgebbitfudbugnad on top of important buildings.

4. Walk at least three thousand metres per day.

5. Always make sure there are no shrews in a room before entering it.